Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
