Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
