You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
