i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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