I think i peed on brittanys purse
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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