i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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