Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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