Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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