I could make wine with my vomit
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
