Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
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Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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