no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
