Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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