so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
