Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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