I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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