your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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