Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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