So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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