Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
