I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
