Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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