what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
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Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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