He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
