your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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