so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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