that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
