if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.