Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
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Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name