I wannas sexs uuuuu
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
