Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
