She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
