Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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