..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
