just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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