FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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