i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
