Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
