I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
