I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
