My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
