Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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