Having a random hookup so left but love u
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
