i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
