My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
time to smoke my breakfast
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
