and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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