So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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