you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
