We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
