I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need water and some morals
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
