I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
