Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
