is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
