Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
