So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
...so i touched it.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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