I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
