whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
What a dumb baby whore.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
