My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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