Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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