Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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