just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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