my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize