Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
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i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
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I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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