i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
