i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
