So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
