what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
